Living with Roommates - by Gizem Yagci

Living with Roommates

by Gizem Yagci

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Basics of roommate interactions are built on respect, understanding and empathy. After the friendly dynamic is set, the relationship can evolve from people-who-live-together into actual friends.

It is crucial to keep in mind that we all have good and bad days and most times we do not have control over our lives. Lets say person A leaves the dishes in the sink for a day longer than usual due to what is going on in his/her life. Remaining roommates will have two routes to choose: they can be understanding or not. Then again it always comes back to the intentions of the person and most importantly CONTEXT!!!!!

Living with other people is a challenge on its own. Your roommates could be from a very different background with opposite views or they may be from the same town, but still different in their own way. I believe that there is no ‘perfect roommate’. In any match, some sort of conflict will resolve on its own. My advice is to be less concerned about choosing or having the ‘right’ roommate, and be more concerned about the approach that you take when you are interacting with your roommate or trying to resolve a conflict.

I’ve always preferred confrontation rather than ignoring the other person or situation. That being said, confrontation will not work miracles if you use an accusing language and a condescending tone. Just take a moment and try to step back: see the bigger picture. Maybe this moment will prevent you from doing something that you will regret later on. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you feel? How is the ideal way to approach the problem? Maybe there are external factors in your roommate’s life that you do not know about. Maybe it is a misunderstanding. Maybe it is miscommunication due to all the passive aggressive nature of the communication. My point is you never know until you ask. Ignoring the issue only leads to bigger problems. Even if you think you are entirely right, try to remember there are two sides to every story and that no conflict arises from one side particularly.

Always keep in mind that everyone struggles to have healthy roommate relationships. Maybe some do more than the others. But it is all a part of the college experience. If you pay attention to actively listen and talk to each other, you will realize that things will start to go in a much better direction. Having someone there when you want or need to talk or socialize is just refreshing and calming. It all comes down to setting the dynamics of the relationship right as early as possible, or try to salvage the relationship no matter at what point it is at, because it is never too late. For all you know, your roommate will become your best friend who you will live with until the day you graduate!

I personally love living with roommates. I just finished my junior year University of Michigan and every single year I had brand new experiences, friends and crazy memories. I recommend it to anyone! I hope your experience will be as pleasant as mine.