3 Tips for Building Cross-Cultural Friendships

When I came to the US five years ago, I didn’t know much about English besides the grammar rules that I memorized in high school. I had never met anybody from South America, Africa, or Europe, and I did not know that outside of the Asian countries, drinking plain hot water is not normal. Cultural adaptation was not easy for me. There were times that I wish I was back in Taiwan, sharing meals with my family. And there were times that I felt misunderstood because I was not able to express myself fully in English. However, I was fortunate to gain a few cross-cultural friends who helped me realize the limit of my own culture and the beauty of cultural diversity.

Reflecting back in the past five years, I could not be more grateful for being an international student because it gives me an opportunity to meet people from all over the world. According to the 2017 U-M International Center Statistical Report, there are over 7,000 international students from over 117 countries. The uniqueness of each international student enriches this campus. In this blog, I am going to share with you about three tips that I learned to build cross-cultural friendships. Please feel free to comment and share your tips with me too!

1. Be proud

Be proud of ourselves. Living in a foreign place and studying in English are not easy tasks. We are very brave, so do not beat yourself up whenever you face any hardship. Instead, be proud of who you are. Our cultures make us special and important. A US friend of mine once told me that she was so thankful for our friendship because she learned so much about Taiwan, which broadened her perspectives and stretched her worldview.

2. Be open

Be open to new experiences. Lifestyles can be very different from culture to culture. Time perceptions, cooking styles, courtesies, and even the way people say “hi” are very different. My ways often are not the only way. They are just one of the ways. Therefore, be curious, humble, and intentional about your friends from other cultures.

3. Be Proactive 

Building cross-cultural relationships may be challenging because there are many unknowns. However, accept the challenges by stepping out of your comfort zone. It is also okay to disclose fear and uncertainties to cross-cultural friends. Most of the time, they are as nervous as us about the friendship.

The world is very big and full of wonders. Cross-cultural friendships open doors for us to explore the wonders. Check out the Maize Pages for organizations of your interest, attend events across campus, and ask a group of your classmates to hangout. Do not give-up when you face barriers. Building cross-cultural friendships is not easy. However, remember, the fears are mutual. Be confident, open, and proactive, and I believe you will gain indispensable cross-cultural friendships at U-M.

International Center Summer Orientation Peer Adviser
Written by Shih-Ya Chang
Graduate Student
Taiwan