Belonging Takes Time - But It’s Worth the Journey by My Tran

 Belonging Takes Time - But It’s Worth the Journey

Written by My Tran

Summer Orientation Peer Advisor 

Graduate Student

Hanoi, Vietnam

Photo: Me in my U-M hoodie, enjoying the beautiful fall season in Michigan

As an international student in the United States, I often asked myself: What does it really mean to belong?Is it the feeling of being "at home"? Or is it the sense that you genuinely want to stay somewhere, to grow roots and not want to leave?

As a master’s student in Higher Education, I’ve read countless articles and discussed “sense of belonging” in almost every class. Scholars define it in many ways. But for international students like me, maybe it’s something simpler: it’s when you feel truly heard, when your struggles are acknowledged, when you wake up excited for a new day at school. And when you find yourself brave enough to give back, because you’ve been supported.

Let me share how I found that sense of belonging here, in a place that’s nearly a 24-hour flight away from my home in Vietnam.

I Thought I Didn’t Need Friends (Spoiler: I Did)

In my first semester, I thought: I don’t need to make friends. Why? English isn’t my first language. I was afraid I couldn’t fully express myself or be truly understood.

But then I started working on group projects with my classmates. Their energy, positivity, and sincerity changed me. One of them patiently listened to my questions and answered them with more kindness than I expected. Others pulled me out of my “social laziness” and invited me to hang out. They shared their life stories, fun, messy, and real, and made me feel safe enough to share mine, without fear of judgment.

From class discussions to late-night messages, we slowly became friends beyond the classroom. Most importantly, they made me feel less alone. They made me feel heard, even when my questions were silly. And through them, I realized that no matter how big the world is, and no matter the language barrier, I could find friends here.

I Thought I Was Too Different

I came to the University not just as a student, but also as a mother of 3 kids. I assumed I was too “different” from other students. I thought no one would understand my situation, and that no resources existed for people like me.

So, I turned my question into a research project through the Master’s Research Opportunity Program. I explored the challenges faced by non-traditional students at the University of Michigan (U-M) and how the institution supports them. To my surprise, I discovered more than I expected.

I found that the U-M has a dedicated office called the Center for the Education of Women+ that focuses on supporting student caregivers and non-traditional learners. Even more surprising, I discovered that the International Center (IC) also offers resources for international non-traditional students.

When I connected with Samantha, the program manager at IC, she didn’t just send me the information. She warmly invited me to her office. She took time to explain how she and her team are actively working to build support systems for students like me. For the first time, I didn’t feel invisible. I felt seen. I felt understood. And more than that, I realized I wasn’t alone. There is a community here for students who carry complex identities and responsibilities, and I started to feel like I belonged here.

I Started to Feel... Normal

As this sense of belonging began to grow inside me like a small green plant, I found the courage to do more. This summer, I applied for three on-campus jobs, not just to gain experience in my academic field, but to understand more about American workplace culture and to build meaningful relationships.

I never expected to become an “authentic American” overnight, nor do I need to. I still get confused by cultural jokes or slang sometimes. But I’ve learned to embrace each step of the journey. I’ve taken small, brave steps to challenge myself. And with each new experience, I feel more connected to this place I now call home.

Now, I laugh more with my friends. I get excited about challenges at work. I look back and feel proud of how far I’ve come. Even homesickness feels different; it’s not just sadness anymore, but a sweet reminder of where I started.

Dear international students: You’re not alone here.

On a beautiful August day, you’ll begin your journey too. If you're reading this blog, I want you to know you are not alone.

When we open our hearts, even just a little, we will receive more than we can imagine. I hope your student life in the United States will be full of discovery, friendships, and moments that make you feel like you truly belong.